Gender Differences

   Grief is defined both as a painful, complex emotional state which changes with time and as a process of confronting the loss (e.g., by yearning for and repeatedly reliving the lost relationship) and a gradual detachment from the lost person or object. This usually proceeds from an initial state of shock and disbelief, followed by preoccupation with the deceased and finally resolution (Beutel, M., and Willner, H., et al. 1994). When tragedy strikes and the feelings of loneliness, emptiness, sadness and avoidance are not confronted, psychological morbidity can occur. A study by Beutel & Willner et al. (1994) focused on the differences in coping styles and grief expression between the sexes.

In a longitudinal study, 56 couples were studied shortly after miscarriage, 47 of the couples were assessed again at six months and 45 of the couples were assessed yet again at 12 months post loss. All of the participants completed self report, standardized questionnaires for depression, anxiety, physical complaints and grief. The same questionnaires were given at each time frame. It was found that men do grieve however less intense than women. Men tend to cry less than women and feel lesser of a need to talk about their grief and sadness, but do not tend to react with increased depressive symptoms. Although both genders struggle with giving up personal goals, hopes for, and expectations for the unborn child, men often feel overwhelmed by their wives’ depressive reactions and intense grief. It was also concluded that the inconsistent reactions toward grief between men and women contribute to increased depressive reactions in women alone.